Crispy Fart Flowers [broccoli]

Do you LOVE for your home to smell like farts? Me too. This simple, amazing broccoli recipe came from my friend Jessica in Cali. If you’re anything like me and you have to aggressively spruce up veggies to enjoy them, then this is for you. Get creative with all sorts of veggies if you want. Easily make it vegan by omitting the cheese or add your own toppings!

crispy broccoli

This recipe feeds 1 to 2 humans in my house but it could potentially feed 4 humans. Broccoli is good for you so eat up.


  • 2 lbs broccoli
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • Pink salt
  • Black pepper
  • 1/4 cup shaved parmesan


  1. Preheat oven to 400°F
  2. Slice broccoli lengthwise and very thinly (pictured below as this instruction can be subjective).
  3. Use your hands to mix broccoli and oil in a big bowl to evenly coat.
  4. Spread broccoli in a single layer on a big cookie sheet with parchment paper.
  5. Salt & pepper the whole tray.
  6. Pop in the oven for 35 minutes or until browned and crispy [roll credits]
  7. Serve sprinkled with parmesan [or don’t if you’re not eating cheese].
  8. Realize you just ate like a whole pound of broccoli to yourself and live your life without regret.

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